Dear President Bannon: Congratulations On Your Upgrade to Malebolge, the Eighth Circle of the Abyss!
Congratulations on your upgrade to Malebolge, the Eighth Circle of the
Abyss. This tier of our eternal rewards program is reserved for
customers of our Fraud department, including flatterers, adulterers,
hypocrites, and thieves. And what a dedicated customer you have been.
We thank you for your use of our offerings, including Graft, Pandering,
Deceit, and the Promotion of Discord. You earned your Fraud points
through a surprising variety of purchases, ranging from tax evasion to
promoting white supremacy.
While Malebolge is one of our highest membership tiers, there is
one higher. If you fulfill certain requirements, we would be delighted
to upgrade you to Cocytus, the Ninth Circle. This lake of ice is
reserved for our most honored guests, the traitors.